I wont be blogging much kot? I have nothing to tell. I have lost my blogging mojo. So yeaah, that's it.
Anyways, today and yesterday WASNT fun at all.
He was sadly alive in my mind which I thought of going on Ebay & find a gun to put in my mind & shoot him in there. But pffth? Logically, I cant. Bodoh.
I just feel like locking myself in the toilet all over again like what I did at Zai's house. The first time in my life, I actually felt so in peace.
Despite the tears & the feelings, but there it was, the place where I could actually let my so untempting feelings out, the toilet.
There werent voices, no one to judge or label me.
I felt like I was the only human alive in the world, until Zaiti knocked on the door & forced me to open up.
She was the only one who could actually be a real friend.
the one who's more gone-through-this-crap type of friend.
She went in the toilet & hugged me real tight, & calm me down.
God, thinking about it again just wants to make me cry. Thinking about how useless I was to just give it up like that. I could just have speak my mind out & I bet I would be in a better direction than wasting my tears.
In the end I still say,
I dont want to have regrets in life.
