I have never noticed how beautiful the glimmering lights in the horizon are. I looked this way a thousand times before & yet failed to notice the beauty of it. I sighed, because this says a lot about me & it says a lot about you too. I failed to realize how fond I am of my balcony either, or how I deep inside longed to move my bed in & spend the nights. Why cant I wake up to the sounds of the thousand birds floating in my deep blue sky? Why cant I open up my eyes to greet the green plants my mum takes care of? Or meet the piercing morning breeze that freezes me inside out? Do the sun rays puzzle you? Because maybe they puzzle me all the same. I wonder if what I want is always possible. Because what you want will always be possible no matter what. Mine isnt. Its always shadowed by something I havent figured out yet. I smile because I believe. When my dreams materialize in front of me they will prove me right. When they dont I will still believe because I have to believe in them to let them believe in me. Its a full cycle, but you already know that anyway. When I perform magical spells & give in to the words will you still believe me? Dont you worry. Everything will come around, I just need more time. Time will work everything out ; because thats what its here for. Our issues, they can solve themselves. Because we're not interested, we cannot change what doesnt want to be changed.
I will mend my shards of a heart first because I dont need it if its not intact. Yours is sound, is pure & I trust you. Close your eyes & surrender to the unknown, we dont know it for a reason. A better reason than all the unoriginal ones we've come up with. Trust me. Close your eyes & you'll see me in the nothingness. I glow in whats not real. Thats my gift & curse. Do you still think Im unworthy of your recognition? Fine. I have my own imaginary parallel world. You see people, objects & the entire life through your own lens. There is no right or wrong. There is flawed lenses. We have a pair. They say many things about me, some are true ; the rest are not. Believe in what you see.
Just do not forget that your lens is flawed.
Open up & inhale, sink in the oceans of perceptions. I dont need to think anymore about you, or about them. I am better off, for now. I think I should start thinking about new things. Exotic things. Please dont consider the past events because they are fixed. They are forgotten and forgiven. The moment is now. Right now. You could be anyone you'd want to be. Just wish. The moment is now. Right now. I could be anyone I'd want to be. I just have to want it & when they laugh at us we'll just hide the smirks on our faces because they dont know. We will stand our ground because our little hearts know that its all a dress up game. They just dont know. We will stand our ground because deep in our little hearts we know we yearn for this. Lets stick to what we feel & not what we know. Feelings are the uncontrollable, the unforgettable & the unscathed things we own but cannot grasp. They are the things that have the greatest impact on us. Our feelings are what we know.. are what we are so sure of that we know we cant go wrong. Hold on to them, they will guide you to the shimmering light in the horizon. Do you think I will let them control me?
I walk, I talk, I eat, I drink, I think, I exist & co-exist. I control. I exist & co-exist even if I inhale & exhale this little amount of the invisible molecules of air. I exist, & I am in control of myself. I am just no longer interested in controlling their actions. Not anymore. Yes, I finally do know how to exist.
I found you.
I found you.
