I didnt expect for that ME to exist.

I've been missing 2008 for quite sometime now. I dont want to say it out loud nor scream to the entire world, because I know it wont bring me back there. I wish I could change the things I did. The things I regretted doing.

I was such a horrible person.

I was selfish, self-centered, ignorant, arrogant, you name it. All that in 2008, I had ruined my one in a life time best friendship I've ever hard with these special three people. I was being such a drama queen, that I could feel that they're annoyed with me. Real annoyed. I didnt know they would get sick of me until they'd put me aside. They couldnt even accept me for who I am anymore. Now I have been telling myself that I would fix all my mistakes. But its just that, I dont know how.
I've asked, what I did to them. But they refuse to answer. They'll be like 'nothing, we're fine'. How could it be fine if we're never the same anymore? Well, you want to know how I actually feel?

I feel left out whenever we're together.